not so mild

In the past I have been diagnosed with mild anxiety and depression. It doesn't feel mild to me. It's considered mild because,for the most part, I can get out of bed and do what needs to be done. However, I realize now that I'm only capable of one socially demanding activity a day, and usually that is work.

Every week I plan to do exciting things like derby and going out with friends, but by the end  each day I am so mentally exhausted from being responsible and social that the thought of keeping it up, and being physically active, for several more hours is anxiety provoking. And as my anxiety increases so do my physical ailments of pain and nausea, to the point of immobility. 

I know for most people socializing after work is their way of relieving stress. Especially derby. People can hit each other while imagining the other girl is a troublesome boss or bratty kid. I'd rather sit on the couch with my needlework and a good show and shut off my brain. Even going out to dinner with Karl can be too much on some nights.