Mountains! And then somewhere quiet...
This post was going to be about my next adventure, but I started watching LOTR, and was reminded about how much I dislike Frodo.
Especially movie Frodo. He's such a pushover, easily manipulated. Every time he feels weak, he gives in, and tries to (or does) put on the ring.
And Sam is such a slavering, love-sick, idiot. It's pathetic. Sam is the real hero of the entire series, and he is passed over the entire time.
Don't get me wrong. I love the stories. And yes, I mean multiple. The books and the movies are two entirely different stories. Excellent, but different.
Thursday, May 18, 2017
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
not so mild
In the past I have been diagnosed with mild anxiety and depression. It doesn't feel mild to me. It's considered mild because,for the most part, I can get out of bed and do what needs to be done. However, I realize now that I'm only capable of one socially demanding activity a day, and usually that is work.
Every week I plan to do exciting things like derby and going out with friends, but by the end each day I am so mentally exhausted from being responsible and social that the thought of keeping it up, and being physically active, for several more hours is anxiety provoking. And as my anxiety increases so do my physical ailments of pain and nausea, to the point of immobility.
I know for most people socializing after work is their way of relieving stress. Especially derby. People can hit each other while imagining the other girl is a troublesome boss or bratty kid. I'd rather sit on the couch with my needlework and a good show and shut off my brain. Even going out to dinner with Karl can be too much on some nights.
Saturday, November 12, 2016
Bye bye, Bay...
It was so sudden. And random.
He started limping, and refusing to go up the stairs, so we took him to the vet on Monday for 'lethargy'. Of course, by the time we got there, he was jumping around and whining with excitement. (He actually likes the vet. They have squeeze cheese.) So, they did the routine examination, and labs. He had a new tick-borne disease. He's had one for years that presented no symptoms, she they didn't think this would be the cause, but gave us an antibiotic anyways. His ears were full of crap, so they gave us some ear drops. And because they thought he had hip dysplasia, they gave us an anti-inflammatory, fish oil caps, and a joint supplement. All this with the warning not to start everything at once, in case something made him sick, and sent us on our way.
By the time I came home from work Tuesday afternoon he was feeling better enough to jump up on me and leave rows of claw marks to my arm. But he still didn't want to go up the stairs for bed, so K slept on the couch downstairs. But, all seemed fine.
Friday afternoon I came home from work, and he got up to greet me at the door for the first time that week. Nothing seemed unusual until he didn't want to eat dinner. That happens occasionally. K still managed to get the Greenies-coated antibiotics into him.
Saturday morning we went for a walk around the block to sniff things. I left early for a roller derby bout, but K stayed with the dog for several more hours. He was alone for maybe 2 hours before K returned. During that time puked in the only carpeted room in the house. Not much, he still hadn't eaten since Friday morning. He was drinking water like a tanker truck, though. I'm surprised he didn't resort to the toilet.
By Sunday night he still had no interest in food, or treats. He hadn't taken his meds in 2 days. He stopped pooping. We scheduled another visit with the vet for Monday.
One week.
It was a cold, rainy day, of course. The vet hardly recognized Bay as the same dog. He had lost 7 pounds. He had a fever and was listless. No need to muzzle him. They wanted a urine sample. The poor tech followed us around the parking lot with her tray. He always looks like he's sniffing out a good spot, but he's only ever sniffing. They resorted to a catheter. This time his labs were terrible. I was so glad they drew labs the week before to have something to compare. However, they still had no idea what was causing the problem.
$900 later we were off to the Hope Center with a blood sample and an x-ray cd. He wouldn't come out of the car. He put up a good fight. I managed to drag him out backwards, with some incontinence and bloody snorting. Once out of the car, he walked normally to the front door.
They put him in a padded crate, in the main care center. They let me come in and say goodbye. He got up, painfully, when he saw me come in. I tried to tell him to stay down. I was sent home with over $2000 in upfront costs and an empty dog collar.
Tuesday went by without fuss.
Wednesday I got a call at work from the vet asking me if Bayram had been taking his antibiotics all week even though he hadn't been eating. I said yes, we usually managed to get a pill down, if nothing else. She seemed discouraged by this answer. When prodded, it was because the antibiotics were the only real treatment option, and if he had been getting it all along, it obviously wasn't working. They had done an ultrasound, and found nodules on his spleen, but they couldn't do a biopsy, because he had no platelets. He'd bleed out.
K and I went that evening to the Hope Center to see Bay, and talk to the vet. She told us that even with unlimited funds and time, we would probably never get our 'bouncy puppy' back. Mostly, because they still could not determine the cause of his deterioration.
They brought him into the exam room. We called to him at the door, but he looked the other way. When he saw us, he just looked exhausted. He flopped half onto the bed in the middle of the room, and lay there as we fawned over him.
...
It's been almost
2 years since I started this post that I couldn't finish. It was/is still too painful. It was a long, cold, lonely winter without my pup-pup.
Facebook reminded me of this anniversary. I'm not going to go into any further details, other than I know Bayram is happy, wherever he is, chasing the squirrels.
He started limping, and refusing to go up the stairs, so we took him to the vet on Monday for 'lethargy'. Of course, by the time we got there, he was jumping around and whining with excitement. (He actually likes the vet. They have squeeze cheese.) So, they did the routine examination, and labs. He had a new tick-borne disease. He's had one for years that presented no symptoms, she they didn't think this would be the cause, but gave us an antibiotic anyways. His ears were full of crap, so they gave us some ear drops. And because they thought he had hip dysplasia, they gave us an anti-inflammatory, fish oil caps, and a joint supplement. All this with the warning not to start everything at once, in case something made him sick, and sent us on our way.
By the time I came home from work Tuesday afternoon he was feeling better enough to jump up on me and leave rows of claw marks to my arm. But he still didn't want to go up the stairs for bed, so K slept on the couch downstairs. But, all seemed fine.
Friday afternoon I came home from work, and he got up to greet me at the door for the first time that week. Nothing seemed unusual until he didn't want to eat dinner. That happens occasionally. K still managed to get the Greenies-coated antibiotics into him.
Saturday morning we went for a walk around the block to sniff things. I left early for a roller derby bout, but K stayed with the dog for several more hours. He was alone for maybe 2 hours before K returned. During that time puked in the only carpeted room in the house. Not much, he still hadn't eaten since Friday morning. He was drinking water like a tanker truck, though. I'm surprised he didn't resort to the toilet.
By Sunday night he still had no interest in food, or treats. He hadn't taken his meds in 2 days. He stopped pooping. We scheduled another visit with the vet for Monday.
One week.
It was a cold, rainy day, of course. The vet hardly recognized Bay as the same dog. He had lost 7 pounds. He had a fever and was listless. No need to muzzle him. They wanted a urine sample. The poor tech followed us around the parking lot with her tray. He always looks like he's sniffing out a good spot, but he's only ever sniffing. They resorted to a catheter. This time his labs were terrible. I was so glad they drew labs the week before to have something to compare. However, they still had no idea what was causing the problem.
$900 later we were off to the Hope Center with a blood sample and an x-ray cd. He wouldn't come out of the car. He put up a good fight. I managed to drag him out backwards, with some incontinence and bloody snorting. Once out of the car, he walked normally to the front door.
They put him in a padded crate, in the main care center. They let me come in and say goodbye. He got up, painfully, when he saw me come in. I tried to tell him to stay down. I was sent home with over $2000 in upfront costs and an empty dog collar.
Tuesday went by without fuss.
Wednesday I got a call at work from the vet asking me if Bayram had been taking his antibiotics all week even though he hadn't been eating. I said yes, we usually managed to get a pill down, if nothing else. She seemed discouraged by this answer. When prodded, it was because the antibiotics were the only real treatment option, and if he had been getting it all along, it obviously wasn't working. They had done an ultrasound, and found nodules on his spleen, but they couldn't do a biopsy, because he had no platelets. He'd bleed out.
K and I went that evening to the Hope Center to see Bay, and talk to the vet. She told us that even with unlimited funds and time, we would probably never get our 'bouncy puppy' back. Mostly, because they still could not determine the cause of his deterioration.
They brought him into the exam room. We called to him at the door, but he looked the other way. When he saw us, he just looked exhausted. He flopped half onto the bed in the middle of the room, and lay there as we fawned over him.
...
It's been almost
2 years since I started this post that I couldn't finish. It was/is still too painful. It was a long, cold, lonely winter without my pup-pup.
Facebook reminded me of this anniversary. I'm not going to go into any further details, other than I know Bayram is happy, wherever he is, chasing the squirrels.
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Just Sayin....
I don't think it's fair to have to give up things I enjoy, to pay for another college degree, to get hired for a job that I've done in the past.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Another girl was injured at practice tonight. Coach thinks the other
skaters are gunning for us. I don't know. We do seem to have a lot of
bad juju lately. Regardless, I'd better get my act together. We're down
enough people that I'll be skating at the championships whether I'm
ready or not...
...here I come...
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